Ending Relationships in a Heart Centered Way
Have you ever felt the sting of being ghosted?
One of the most painful experiences people can face is “ ghosting” by friends and lovers. When people disappear from your life without a conversation never to be heard from again. Some even struggle when thinking they are forming a connection on dating apps and go back to the conversation and have been deleted.
Believe it or not, this is not just a teenage phenomenon although it is a teenage ego state due to a person’s lack of self awareness and unhealed trauma. Yes, grown adults also behave this way. Have the difficult conversations. You can be in integrity with your word and also change your mind.
Some examples of healthy communication in relationships/friendships:
“What you said/did triggered something from my past. I need to process this and when you’re open I’d like to discuss. “ Then go back to discuss or let them know you won’t be having the discussion.
“ I am having a difficult time myself and can’t be there for you right now but will come back when I am able. Hang in there. I care about you. “
“ I have decided to go in another direction and can no longer continue our friendship, dating etc. “
Dating online: “ Thank you for spending your time and energy connecting with me. I am not feeling that we are a good match so will be moving on. All the best to you. “
Text message breakups are never appropriate unless you are ending a relationship with an abusive person or have been casually dating for under two months.
Honor and respect the person you have been in relationship with and be present to answer their questions so they may have appropriate closure. If you do not, you are inflicting unnecessary trauma and pain. If you are spiritual, you may even do a closure ceremony together.
These simple actions are heart centered and considerate. Be in integrity and act from love. You can do it!
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Lisa Angelini,MAPC, LPC, ACCHT
Holistic Psychotherapist and Coach
602-330-6378
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