Choosing Self Love

When December arrives, likely there are images and traditions that come to mind. Maybe some of them bring anticipation and sweet memories, while others may be overwhelming or painful. One thing is for sure. The holidays are notorious for stirring up emotion and arising strong feelings. When we do not like what we are feeling, whether we are busy trying to chase the spirit of the season, or feeling empty, sad or depressed, everything that arises within us can be used as a change agent for our own development. December, with all of its ornate, colorful décor and festivities, features possibilities for overindulgence and overwhelm. It is up to us to know when we have had enough and what our boundaries are.

Consider our inner selves like a small child. Whether we can anticipate specific reactions or not, a child will react in situations when his/her needs are not being met.  If we can love these things that arise within us as we would a small child, and nurture ourselves, we actualize the opportunity to heal.

Sometimes children get less attention when they are behaving as anticipated and when things are going along smoothly. It is important for us to remember that we don’t always have to have a problem arise to earn love. We can accomplish nourishing ourselves by anticipating our own needs, or scheduling in self nurturing time. Conversely, if we judge or shun what comes up within us, it is likely to grow in intensity until we attend to it. During the holiday season, self-care becomes increasingly important, as the opportunities for burn-out often accelerate.

Giving ourselves attention and love has transforming and uplifting power. When something arises within us, whether we perceive it as positive or negative, it carries an opportunity to love ourselves more deeply. Once something is within our awareness, if we can be honest and realize it is coming up in order to be loved, this is the first step in being the foremost, most authentic expression of ourselves.

Whether you are wishing for something that is not happening or experiencing something that you wish not to occur, I invite you to go within and consider what your inner (child) self needs. Where can you begin to give yourself more love right now? You can start with those things that emerge from within you and allow what has been (neglected) unseen or unheard to feel supported. 

A common question asked by my clients at holiday time:

How can I de-stress from the holiday season when I see no end in sight to all my obligations and responsibilities?

1) Set priorities.

What truly needs to be done and what can you let go of? Determine what is absolutely necessary and take action.

2) Have realistic expectations. 

Have realistic expectations of yourself and others. Do you expect difficult situations to magically improve just because it is the holiday season? Practice acceptance for where things are in the moment. You can make a plan to change them later.

3) Practice mindfulness.

Do one thing at the time and be present doing it. If you are wrapping gifts, wrap them with love and gratitude, versus feeling stressed about all there is left to do. 

4) Cultivate gratitude.

Remember all that you have to be grateful for, even if things aren't going as well as you expected. This will help to lift your mood. Remember to be grateful for the little things.

5) Set boundaries.

 Communicate clearly and authentically with others about what you can or cannot do, are willing to accept or participate in. 

6) Practice self-care. 

Be sure to take time for yourself. You are important! Meditate, breathe, read a book, watch a holiday movie. Do something that brings you joy.